John B. Bogart, the late New York Sun editor, famously once said, “When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.” Even more so, if the man is nude when he attacks a dog, you’ve got yourself one heck of a news story. WSVN out of Miami, Florida, reported on January 2 about a trespasser who wrestled with a family’s dog while not wearing any clothes. A homeowner was awakened around 5 a.m. by the barking of his dog. He went to his window to see what was causing his Rottweiler to bark and witnessed a nude man grappling with hisdog in the backyard. Miami Police Detective Willie Moreno told WSVN that the homeowner “spotted a person that is not only fighting with his dog, but is naked fighting with his dog.”
The homeowner grabbed his firearm and ran into the backyard to stop the intruder from harming the beloved family pet. The berserk trespasser continued acting like a savage animal and actually attacked the homeowner, going so far as to bite him. The homeowner reacted quickly and fired a shot into the nude man’s leg, which put an end to the attacker’s rampage. Police arrived on the scene, took the man into custody, and sent him for medical treatment. The criminal refused to give his name, but police later identified the assailant as 20-year-old Jeffrey Delice. He was charged with burglary, resisting arrest, and animal cruelty, and was being held without bond at the time of this writing. Thankfully, both the homeowner and the dog were safe and uninjured. The police do not expect to press any charges against the homeowner for shooting the naked attacker. “For right now, it does appear to be a justified shooting.” Moreno said.